BPD: Disclosure, Boundaries, and Treatment
So, you found out you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Maybe you just recently found out, or maybe you’ve known for quite some time now. Learning you have this diagnosis can be quite scary for a number of reasons. The name alone can be confusing and alarming. People often confuse BPD with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder), and it is a completely different diagnosis.
People also often confuse the BPD acronym for bipolar disorder, which, while it does have some similarities, is again an entirely different disorder.
Perhaps you are afraid that you’ll be judged or treated differently if you reveal to loved ones, friends, coworkers, and other people in your life that you have the disorder. It’s unfortunately quite possible. There is still much stigma around Borderline Personality Disorder, even among some in the clinical community, which is unfortunate. When it comes to whether you disclose your diagnosis, remember that this is your choice, and it’s important to make it from a rational place — from your Wise Mind.
Think it through. What are the intentions of disclosing? What do you hope to see happen as a result of sharing this information? Think about whether the person you are considering disclosing to is likely to be able to handle the information maturely, process it, and treat you with respect and dignity despite any confusion or ignorance they may have about the disorder. Consider if there are any potentially serious consequences of disclosing. Also, consider boundaries. I know from the past that it can be so tempting in the heat of the moment or at the peak of emotional intensity to explain my behaviors by blurting out that I had BPD. I wanted compassion, understanding, and for my behavior to make sense to other people. Unfortunately, disclosing in this way was rarely effective. I was sometimes accused of “blaming” my poor choices and actions on “some disorder” as a scapegoat. This invalidation of my overwhelmingly painful experience was difficult to bear. So, I learned it was important for me to choose the moment wisely, with great caution, and from a well thought out Wise Mind place, if at all.
BPD was once thought to be a “psychiatric death sentence.” It wasn’t believed that patients with this difficult, intense, emotion regulation disorder could ever recover. We now know that this is not true. I, myself, am an example of someone diagnosed with BPD who no longer meets the criteria and is in recovery from the disorder. I’m functioning, but beyond that, I am building a life worth living. I have meaningful relationships, a rewarding professional life, and I no longer let emotions rule my life. If you or someone you know has this disorder, please know that the situation is hopeful, even if it doesn’t look like it right now. The person suffering from BPD is in a world of emotional pain and likely does not know the skills and methods for coping effectively, or they haven’t had enough practice with them yet, and this causes them to desperately act out an array of behaviors that do not serve them. These behaviors may serve as temporary relief, but the long term damage they cause can be significant.
For me, it took the intervention of intensive clinical support and a willingness to receive it in order for me to finally begin to heal. I continue to be an emotionally sensitive person and still meet some of the criteria (mostly those that overlap with complex post traumatic stress disorder), but I am much better equipped to manage my intense emotions since receiving proper treatment — in my case, DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy).
Please know that you are not alone. BPD is a serious mental health condition, *and* it is treatable. People *do* recover. You can learn skills to help you manage your emotions and move forward with a life that is much more stable and fulfilling. If you’re ready for help, please seek it. You will save yourself and those you love years of unnecessary suffering if you get the help you need and get on the road to recovery now. When I was about nineteen, I had left an inpatient psychiatric hospitalization of three weeks when I found “Rule out BPD” on my discharge paperwork. I was terrified and never followed up. It wasn’t until my thirties that I was finally properly diagnosed. The years between were filled with much difficulty. Please don’t wait that long.
Optimum Performance Institute’s OPI Intensive in Southern California serves young adults ages 17-28 (male and female) who suffer from BPD. I was speaking to a friend yesterday who knows a mother of a seventeen year young woman who was diagnosed with BPD and recently completed a short program in the mid-west. I urged her to tell her friend about this program, because if the daughter is willing to continue to get the help she needs now, as I said, it can save her YEARS of unnecessary pain. I am so passionate about urging young people to get help sooner rather than later, because I didn’t. I’ve been down that road, and it is one of my missions in life to help young people find direction, support, help, and healing as early on as possible.
In kindness,
Debbie Corso
HealingFromBPD.com
At OPI Intensive, we offer compassionate, clinically sophisticated intensive residential help for young adult men and women who suffer from borderline personality disorder or BPD traits, including genetic testing to determine the best course for medications, if needed. Rather than a sterile, hospital-like environment, we offer beautiful accommodations in luxury apartments just outside of Los Angeles. At OPI Intensive, we treat the individual, not the diagnosis. Our clinical team is made up of a diverse community of passionate, highly skilled individuals working together with you to help you find your joy and express it. For more information on OPI Intensive residential programs and our measures to help young adults with Borderline Personality Disorder, call us at 866-661-3982 or click HERE to submit an online form. We’ll be in touch promptly.