We’ve all been there – hanging out with the same group of people since who knows when. We’ve come to accept them for everything they are, faults and all. We’ve already forgiven them for the pain they will cause us in the future because we’re best buds. But, you know what? Being made to feel less than YOU does not make them good friends, no matter how long you’ve known them. Check out the following list – if your friends fall into any of these categories, it’s time to find a new group.
- They make you feel bad/stupid/less than. Friends are supposed to be there to lift you up and make you feel your best. They let you know when you’re wrong, but in a supportive and loving way. They aren’t condescending and they love you no matter what.
- They engage in bad habits and pressure you to, also. Maybe your friends engage in substance abuse habits, expensive shopping habits, or other habits that you don’t necessarily find fulfilling, morally acceptable, or fun. If your so-called friends are pressuring you to engage in any activity that you don’t want to engage in; if they are not respectful of your decision to not participate, then they aren’t your friends.
- They are constantly throwing you under the bus. Did your friends get checked on for vandalizing public property and then blame you for it? Or, worse yet, deny it and say it was only you? Did your friends engage in a negative activity towards someone else and then say you did it? If your friends are constantly throwing blame your way and you constantly take it, then they aren’t your friends.
- They forget about you. Birthdays, graduations, anniversaries – your friends are nowhere to be found. Not a call, not a text. Nothing. It’s as if you don’t exist. You know, until they need to borrow money, need a ride somewhere, or a shoulder to cry on. If your friends can’t remember some of the most major milestones in your life, then you need new friends.
- They don’t make time for you. You have plans to go to the movies with your friends tonight. 20 minutes before the show, they call to cancel. They can’t even pin down a day to reschedule. So, you offer a coffee date, but even that’s too hard to nail down. This not only hurts your ego, but it is emotional on all levels. These are people who are supposed to know you best, but they can’t even schedule an hour ahead of time to hang out with you. If that’s the case with your friends, it’s time to make new ones.
The bottom line is that people who are your friends love you unconditionally, they respect you, they support you. They are lovingly direct with you. They want to see you succeed and, better yet, they want to help you succeed! Just because you have a history with someone, does not mean they need to be stuck in your life. Go out, make some new friends – people who will be honest and true with you and who will let you be honest and true with yourself. Friends are there for you through thick and thin. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself – are your friends there for you? Or is it time for you to make some new ones?