Family Reaction to Asperger's

How Does Your Family React to Your Diagnosis of Asperger’s?  

Family Reaction to Asperger'sIf you have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, you are probably very intelligent, feel calmer when rules are followed, find it exhausting to interact socially, and excel in mathematics, music, science, and/or computer programming. You may have been told as a child that you acted like a “little adult” or were called a “geek” for collecting things not normally collected. You also prefer routine over chaos and may have remarkable memory skills.

What is the Difference Between Asperger’s and Autism?

What distinguishes Asperger’s Syndrome from Autism is the fact that you do not experience deficits in verbalizing or communicating with others. It’s just that you have difficulty understanding specific social cues that others use without hesitation. For example, it may not make sense to you why you need to engage in boring chit-chat with someone you hardly know or why it is so important to look at someone when you are talking to them.

In addition, your emotional and physical responses to sensory aspects of the environment are much more sensitive than other people’s responses. Screeching noises, bright lights, a roomful of noisy people, rough clothing, the way food “feels” in your mouth — these things may upset you and make you feel extremely anxious, and that’s OK. You can’t change the way your brain processes incoming stimuli. It’s just the way you are and that’s something you may need to explain to family members who do not understand Asperger’s Syndrome.

“Why are You so Self-Centered and Uncaring”?

In addition to misinterpreting social cues, people diagnosed with Asperger’s are often accused of not being empathetic. Empathy is the ability to understand how another person feels. However, some research studies suggest that you aren’t ignoring people’s feelings, it’s just that people like you are exceptionally sensitive to all kinds of stimuli and find it almost unbearable to cope with the complexity of emotions.

Is it nearly impossible for you to watch a sad TV show or movie? Do you get extremely uncomfortable during “heavy” romantic films? That’s because you aren’t sure how to respond appropriately to a particularly emotional situation. Instead of responding inappropriately and risk being chastised, you simply choose not to respond at all, and that’s OK, too.

If your family is reacting indifferently or even being hostile to your diagnosis of Asperger’s, do not let their attitude upset you. It is not uncommon for families to deny a loved one has Asperger’s because people with Asperger’s are self-sufficient, communicative, and intelligent. They do not understand that all that an Asperger’s diagnosis entails.

Tips for Coping with Negative Family Reactions to Your Diagnosis
Inform your family that:

  • Asperger’s Syndrome is a genetic disorder affecting between 0.50 percent and one percent of the U.S. population. In fact, scientists have recently identified 27 genes in the human genome that may be responsible for Asperger’s.
  • Asperger’s Syndrome is not something that can be “cured”. However, it can be managed successfully with counseling, medication (in some cases), and support from loved ones.
  • Your behaviors are not deliberate or planned. You are not self-centered or unfeeling. You do empathize with others, but have difficulty understanding and processing emotions. This is why you seem to withdraw around people, especially groups of people, who present an overwhelming amount of emotions that need to be processed separately and addressed acceptably.
  • You would deeply appreciate their acceptance and support of your diagnosis.