Signs of Self-Harm in Young Adults
As a parent, it falls in the category labeled “Worse Nightmares.” Cutting, scratching, and other self-injurious behaviors make frightened parents think their kids are contemplating suicide. Self-harm does not necessarily translate to suicidal ideations, but it is a problem that you want to learn how to spot and seek help for right away.
What is Self-Harm?
Self-harm is a behavior young adults use to express distress, relieve tension, or punish themselves. Sometimes, young adults engage in these behaviors because they want to die – in fact, a large number of suicide completers have a history of self-harm. Yet, in many cases, self-injury is merely a way – the only way in their eyes – for the young person to cope with disturbing or painful emotions. Your child may be undiagnosed for a serious mental disorder, such as depression, an eating disorder, or chronic anxiety. They self-harm to deal with life and can find no other options.
Types of Self-harm
Self-harm may include any of the following:
- cutting or intense scratching with a sharp object on the skin
- piercing the skin with a sharp object
- hitting/punching themselves or banging their heads
- burning or scalding the skin
- carving words into the skin
- picking at wounds
- poisoning themselves
- pulling out hair
Spotting the Signs of Self-Harm
The targets of most self-injury involve the arms, legs, and front of the torso. Any part of the body may be used, however. Self-harm is frequently carried out in secret, so spotting the signs may not be a simple matter of actually seeing the behavior. Instead, worried parents of young adults suspected of self-harm can look for other clues.
Signs of self-harm can be any of the following:
- unexplained fresh bruises, scratches, cuts or other wounds
- blood stains on clothes, sheets, or towels
- having a supply of sharp object around
- covering up with long sleeves or pants, even when it’s hot
- problems with friendships or relationships
- being easily irritated
- isolating
- making self-loathing statements about feeling worthless or hopeless
If you notice any of these behaviors over a period of time, it’s important to take action. Some young adults engage in self-harm a few times and then never do it again. However, for individuals suffering from extreme emotional or mental disturbances, self-injurious behaviors can escalate over time.
Getting Help for Self-Harm
Try to refrain from making accusatory statements or lashing out at your child for self-harm. Currently, these behaviors are all your child knows to do to handle life. Approach the topic gently by expressing concern and the desire to help. Resist the urge to ask “why?” Your child probably does not fully understand the behavior and asking too many questions could feel like judgment rather than concern.
Talk to your child about what you have noticed and that you would like him or her to talk to someone who can help. Offer to set up an appointment with a primary care doctor who can connect you with referrals in the mental health community, or reach out to a psychologist for an assessment.