BPD and Narcissism

Borderline Personality Disorder is becoming a more popular diagnosis among today’s young adults. The mental health field is becoming more aware of symptomatology that reflects the diagnosis and they are becoming more familiar with recognizing the signs. To make diagnosing even more difficult, since mental health professionals would really rather diagnose anything but BPD, some young adults suffer from comorbid symptoms in the form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to the DSM 5, is characterized as:

• Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
• Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
• Exaggerating your achievements and talents
• Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
• Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
• Requiring constant admiration
• Having a sense of entitlement
• Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
• Taking advantage of others to get what you want
• Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
• Being envious of others and believing others envy you
• Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

What we have learned is that the individual suffering from both NPD and BPD is really a fragile person. There is this intense fear of abandonment and anxiety. It’s like looking at an adult but seeing a young child who is looking for approval. It’s almost no wonder NPD breaks through as a form of a defense mechanism. So much is already in chaos that there has to be something with order. The feelings of worthlessness run so deep that the individual must project his feelings of superiority in order to invite those external acknowledgments and validations. The show of superiority, entitlement, exaggeration is just that – all a show.

But, what this, in turn, does with friends and family is create the feeling that they have to walk on eggshells around this individual. One wrong statement or disagreement can cause severe dysregulation in the suffering individual, thus creating more of a need for the narcissism. This can take the form of rage, disowning, crying, or a tantrum. And, it is in this moment that we see the fragile person within who just wants to be loved and validated.